I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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