Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
