Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize