check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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