I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
