Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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