normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
