im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
