i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
