what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
