ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
