after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
