She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
