I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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