oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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