Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
