The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
