she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
