I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
