The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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