I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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