I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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