I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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