I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
