I love black thongs
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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