I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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