If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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