we're blogging at a bar
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
