I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
