You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
