Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
