before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
