I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
