Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
