Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize