oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
