one two three fourrrrnication!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
