no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
