playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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