I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
