I think I won the penis lottery.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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