The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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