see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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