Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
