YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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