We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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