your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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