Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You took a bar mat shot.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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