Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
