Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
