I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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