She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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