my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
