Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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