Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
