it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
