I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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