Your dad touched me again.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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