so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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