Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
